Thoughts & Changes

SO I have ran into so many problems this week, I am so overwhelmed and stressed and mad and I have all these emotions. Working by myself has truly been a hassle and I find that kind of ironic being that working with a group sounds more complicated. I don't know... thats just me. To be frank, this project has been pushed aside this week. I was too overwhelmed and I wasn't enjoying it. I am beginning to film this week so I am more calm now that my plan is officially happening. See, last week was when I was supposed to start filming but I ran into problems both with the people I was supposed to meet with and personal. I want to put my heart and soul into making this film opening. I want to enjoy doing it, not dread it. So pushing the project aside for now was almost vital.

I will be staring in the film myself, which is not what I would have originally planned for but... you gotta do what you gotta do. After some extensive planning and coming back to reality I thought that my film opening was just too much. The worst part is, i've said this before and after I thought i fixed the "too" much I still had "too" much.

My film will actually only take place in one setting instead of five that I had before. It was just too much for me to handle and after I accepted that I finally made some drastic changes. It was hard for me to accept that I couldn't do that much, it made me feel like I wasn't reaching my full potential. After I thought and thought, and kind of got stuck on the idea that I wasn't going to succeed the way I wanted to, I then realized that it's okay. I get to show what I want and what is necessary. Not achieving my wishes and goals is okay. You live and you learn. Next time, I know that if I really want to achieve something extravagant, I NEED to focus much more and put more time into just that.

This might sound weird, but I learned a lot about myself in this project. I have got to stop putting everything for the last minute. It sucks for me because my ambitions are so high, stress is too much, and the procrastination is too real. To conclude, that will definitely change especially now that I'm going into my last year of high school to finally go to college and start my life.